hick river orange

The Durango Bootleggers Society has crafted a bright orange beer to recognize the disastrous Animas River spill caused by the Environmental Pollution Agency, appropriately labeled “Heavy Metal EPA.”

And, it’s just in time for the congressional hearings that begin tomorrow and a new drinking game!

Sadly, distribution of the not-so-pale ale appears to be limited to the Durango area. The coalition of microbreweries that make up the “Bootleggers,” includes Ska Brewing Co., Steamworks Brewing Co., Carver Brewing Co., Brew Pub & Kitchen, Durango Brewing Co. and Animas Brewing Co.

The Durango Herald reports that only 60 kegs will be produced –perhaps a couple might be shipped to the Denver market — with the proceeds going towards the Community Emergency Relief Fund to aid those directly impacted by the spill.

For those of you without access to the new brew but wish to play along from home, any microbrewed beer (Except New Belgium!) mixed with some #2 red dye should do the trick.

Here are the drinking rules:

Spill the beer all over your significant other, or pet, every time an EPA official declines to answer a question stating that the matter is under investigation.

Shake and spray beer at computer screen, assuming you’ll be watching the hearing live on C-SPAN, when Democrats suggest the solution is for EPA to do to every abandoned mine in the west, what it did for Gold King mine.

Drink when you hear the word “Superfund,” but spit if followed by the phrase “is the solution.”

And finally, drink when you hear the phrase, “It’s the EPA’s fault.”

Granted, one might get a dozen sips of beer from these rules, but the hearing’s at 8 a.m. mountain time, people, you don’t need to show up for work sloppy drunk!

Leave that to the professionals at the EPA.