In one of the most creative ads of the election season thus far, Republican state Sen. and candidate for Governor Greg Brophy offered Coloradans a way out of its unhealthy relationship with liberal Governor John Hickenlooper – a “Dear John” letter. Just watch.
From the ad:
I think we need to go our separate ways. Please know that it’s not you, it’s me. We’ve grown apart these past three years and I blame myself. I built up unrealistic expectations of you to be someone you just are not. I see that now and I apologize.
I’ll always remember with fondness how we first met at that bar of yours in Lodo. You were so low-key and approachable. I’ve come to see how that bar and it’s success is a fundamental part of who you are. No matter where we go or what we do together, you never miss an opportunity to remind me of that place or beer. Again, I blame myself for taking you away from the only place you’ve been truly happy. It’s a big part of why I want to set you free.
Before we moved in together, you made me think you’re someone you’re not. Those funny, quirky commercials. Your claims that you believed what I do. Your pledged commitment to be an average, moderate guy. It sounded so reasonable, but it wasn’t really you. I need someone else, someone who puts me first instead of his friends or party.
You said how much you supported the plain and well-known rules I’ve chosen to live by. You even took an oath to uphold and live by them, John. Yet when it mattered most, in that important Dunlap matter, you ignored my rules and said maybe the person after you could follow my rules. Well, that’s the person I need now.
You keep imposing new and more restrictive rules on what I can do and how I have to do it. At first, I thought it was because you cared, but now I see it’s because you don’t trust me. Remember that time one of your friends said I couldn’t be trusted with a handgun because I might mistakenly get scared I could be raped and accidentally shoot someone on campus? You never stood up for me or my rights. No other person in this country has gone as far as you have to limit my rights with the stroke of a pen.
You only seem to care about the Denver part of me. It would be one thing if you ignored the other parts of me, but it’s worse than that. You abuse my rural parts and put unfair demands on them to act like Denver. You could have said no to the ridiculous renewable energy demands that your friends put on me. But, again, you chose them over me. I need someone who cares about all of me, even when there aren’t fires or floods to draw them there. You even changed my logo to some generic green triangle. Why am I not good enough for you the way I am.
You’re such a nice guy. I know there is another, much better situation out there waiting for you. Maybe you could go back to your great bar, relax and just go back to being a bartender. I wish you all the best, John. I’ll think of you with every beer.
P.S., Maybe this will give you the time you need to focus on that Hillary you keep talking about. Good luck with her, she seems perfect for you.