The Denver Post, as usual, posted Governor Hickenlooper’s “State of the State” address in its entirety, which gives us the opportunity to fully critique the Governor’s speech line-by-line. Thanks for that. Instead of giving a high-minded review of the speech as a whole, we pulled a few key quotes from his speech to translate for you, PeakNation™. You’re welcome. It’s our take, take it or leave it.

Hick said: “We need a comprehensive focus on infrastructure that supports not just transportation, but also broadband, education, healthcare, and our environment.”

Hick meant: While Republicans are prioritizing transportation funding this year (as they should), we still have donor priorities that compete with transportation like broadband, education, healthcare and the environment.

Hick said: “Talking about the hospital provider fee on the second floor of the Capitol is about as popular as the Oakland Raiders.  BUT it’s a sensible way to solve some of our problems, though it won’t solve all of them.”

Hick meant: We need the hospital provider fee AND we need to raise taxes because we are Democrats and we will never be satisfied with the money with which hard-working Coloradans fill our coffers. Keep working Colorado, we need your taxes.

Hick said: “With the gas tax unchanged since 1992, more fuel efficient cars and normal inflation: it’s basic math. It’s a funding problem.”

Hick meant: People in suburban and rural Colorado, who have to drive a lot just for basic necessities should bear the brunt of our tax issues. As Democrats, we will continue to refuse to appropriately prioritize transportation funding so we always say we will have a funding problem, but we actually just cannot stop spending money on nonsense.

Hick said: “Clean, safe, and affordable Colorado-made energy is the best approach.”

Hick meant: We all know that oil and natural gas makes the world go ’round here in Colorado; however, my donors really want me to continue to push renewables, like solar and wind, which make zero economic sense for the Coloradans that

Hick said: “Part of the answer is the construction defects legislation we almost passed last year and we WILL pass this year.”

Hick meant: I have many home builder donors who are just pissed that Democrats haven’t gotten their acts together to pass this even though Republicans have introduced this legislation for about a decade. Children, you are embarrassing me.

Hick said: “That’s why two months ago we released the Governor’s Dashboard–the latest step in our goal in making Colorado the most accountable state in the country.”

Hick meant: Well, the most accountable state in the country, except for the whole Connect for Health Colordao thing. Oh, and the Great Outdoors Colorado scandal. And, the general waste and abuse of taxpayer dollars.