The Congressional campaign of state Representative Sal Pace (D-Urination) sent out a Christmas-themed fundraising email begging for campaign cash on Monday. The email, written to come from St. Nick himself, claims Pace has been a "good boy" this year and therefore recipients should give him money.
From the email:
I want to give you the gift of a new Congressman – like Sal Pace! He's the kind of good leader that has never ended up on the naughty list. Pitch in $5 or more to help me give you this gift next year!
Not so fast, say a number of Peak readers who forwarded the email to us with some colorful commentary on Pace's claim to good behavior.
Some readers think that rather than ask for campaign cash, Pace should be prioritizing some other things.
So on this 8th day of Christmas, we offer up a collection of campaign cash alternatives Pace should be asking for:
1. A case of Depends
2. More public urinals
3. A case of Snickers (so he can stop trying to steal from vending machines)
4. A valid drivers license (required in Colorado)
5. An alarm clock (to wake up for court)
6. Denial of Service attack on the Peak (to stop people from reading this story)
7. Denial of Service attack on Compass Colorado (to stop people from reading his voting record)
8. Denial of Service attack on WhoSaidYouSaid's Youtube channel (to stop people from seeing this video)