Yesterday, CBS4‘s Shaun Boyd conveyed that liberal Sixth Congressional candidate Andrew Romanoff would not attend President Obama’s speech today because he “wasn’t invited”. Upon hearing this, there was a collective guffaw and a few shouts of bulls$%!.
To help him relate to voters, we created a list of the excuses we probably would have believed before the lame excuse he provided. Here goes.
5. He would be busy planning a surprise September 4th birthday party for sexist scumbag, former Democratic Governor of Montana, and campaign supporter Brian Schweitzer. Ooops, did we ruin the surprise?
4. He was already scheduled to help failed Democratic Presidential candidate Howard Dean round up Republicans for flights to Ukraine and Russia.
3. His staff planned a brainstorming session for new ways to smear veterans on major patriotic or veteran-themed holidays.
2. He promised Rep. Nancy Pelosi that he would clip her toenails in exchange for donor checks. Andy, she likes the oval shaped, not square.
1. He would be shopping for new district in which to run in 2016.
Now that we’ve been so helpful, can we all just acknowledge that Romanoff’s refusal to appear with Obama is nothing more than a campaign tactic to put distance between him and Obama’s horrific poll numbers?