We hate to be curmudgeons, but can we just say no to the Democratic National Convention coming (again) to Denver in 2020? Look, we recognize that this would bring to Colorado a lot of economic opportunity, but it’s just so annoying. Here are ten reasons we wish Democrats would just stay away.
10) The DNC was just in Denver in 2008. Surely, there are other towns that might be willing and available to host? We should spread the love.
9) Traffic. We already have an insane amount of traffic, no need to bring thousands of rigged delegates and superdelegates onto our highways and streets.
8) We have enough dirty hippies walking around downtown Denver. Thanks.
7) Listen, Governor Hickenlooper, having the DNC on your home turf will not give your presidential aspirations a leg up.
6) Last time the DNC was in town, the Pepsi Center practically had to import union labor to fulfill requirements. Just employ the people in Denver, mmmkay?
5) Colorado already is known for fixing primaries – why give Democrats an opportunity to take it national?
4) Anybody remember Gitmo on the Platte?
3) Last time, we were accused of not being green enough. Seriously, we might get our eyes stuck rolling our eyes so hard.
2) We’d add that having legalized marijuana makes the likelihood of voting under the influence more likely, but we’re pretty sure that happens anyway. That’s the only explanation we can think of for liberal votes.
1) Can we not give Mayor Hancock and his family another opportunity to engage in bad behavior? Just saying.