Polis’ new campaign video shows him packing a lunch for his son, Caspian (yes, fine, he’s adorable). Caspian talks about how every child should have the opportunity to go to preschool (ok, he’s not so adorable that we will agree with his attempt to unionize more teachers). The scene shows Jared Polis putting an unwrapped peanut butter and jelly sandwich into his son’s lunchbox. Has he ever packed a lunch before? Even for himself? That’s going to be a hot mess.
Caspian is going to jostle the lunchbox all the way to school (because he’s a six or seven-year old) and the apple that Polis throws in there after the sandwich will act like a wrecking ball against the sandwich, causing a virtual explosion of sticky all over the inside of the lunchbox. What a disaster. Poor Caspian will be relegated to eating chicken fingers and tater tots with the minions. Or scraping/licking organic, gluten-free bread with sunflower butter and jelly off the sides of his recycled plastic Jonathan Adler lunchbox.
But more importantly, if this was Polis’ attempt to show us that he’s just like us, give him an F. He just demonstrated that he’s never made a lunch for his son before the day of the video shoot. Once again, Polis shows just how out of touch he is with the average Coloradan.