Here’s a compromise – shower every other day, but you still get to smell like beer? Photo courtesy of

If this isn’t a call to vote no on 300, we don’t know what is. According to a new survey by promotional item company Quality Logo Products, Denver is the second grossest city in America. The only other city that’s grosser? Seattle. Ew.

The survey evaluated important criteria such as how often Denverites showered and whether they went to work sick. So, this morning know that many Denverites only shower every four to five days (what?!?!?) and are more likely to come to work sick. Perhaps not a coincidence, Coloradans also have one of the lowest rates of vaccinations in the country, so definitely check your coworkers for measles. (Kidding…or are we…?)

Why on earth are people only showering every four or five days? How gross is that? Maybe every other day, ok, but good grief, Denver.

Step 1: Stop pooping in people’s yards.

Step 2: Shower more frequently.

Step 3: Call in sick when you’re sick out of courtesy to your coworkers who don’t want your swine flu.

Step 4: Vaccinate your kids.

Step 5: Rinse (you do know what that is, right???) and repeat.

Step 6: Just stop being gross.