Following guidance from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Senate candidate John Hickenlooper wants marijuana dispensaries closed because they are not essential businesses and could increase the risk of contracting COVID-19.

“Everyone should know that smoking marijuana is bad, m’kay,” Hickenlooper totally did not say, because April Fools.

When we announced last month our perennial gag was canceled, COVID-19 had just reached pandemic status and we didn’t think readers would be in the mood for a laugh.

Three million Facebook memes have proven us wrong.