Bruised and battered, Democratic old guard John Hickenlooper hobbled across the finish line to win the U.S. Senate primary race and will face Republican Sen. Cory Gardner in the November general election.

With 54 counties reporting after the race was called, Hickenlooper was leading with 60% to Andrew Romanoff’s 40%.

It wasn’t the 30 point spread predicted by a 9News/Colorado Politics online poll conducted last week. 

And Republicans are already welcoming the opportunity to take on the Democrat who is riddled with self-inflicted wounds.

A memo from Gardner campaign consultant Chris Hansen tagged their challenger as “hot mess Hickenlooper” and described the Democrat’s campaign as tarnished.

“His glass jaw is fully exposed,” said the memo, obtained earlier Tuesday by Colorado Politics. 

That’s quite the ticket the old guard Democrat Party has crafted for left-leaning Colorado come November.

For president, they have Joe Biden, the bumbling old white dude who can’t stop saying inappropriate things. Democrats are keeping him hidden as much as possible until the election.

For senator, they’ll have John Hickenlooper, the bumbling old white dude who can’t stop saying inappropriate things. Democrats are keeping him hidden as much as possible until the election.

Talk about motivation! 

Democrats will be chomping at the bit to dip their quills into the inkwell, fill out their ballots and return them post haste by Pony Express!

All kidding aside, Democrats might want to laminate those ballots to keep voter tears from smudging the ink.