Denver Mayor Hancock has ordered a 10 p.m. curfew to fight the common cold, flu, hiccups and COVID-19.

In addition to being grounded, we are all being sent to our rooms without anything interesting left to watch on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu or Apple TV.

The punishment begins Sunday, and bans us from attending sporting events at high schools and colleges for a month.

Under the order, any business not defined as critical must close to the public during “Home by 10 hours” which are between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. Critical businesses include, but are not limited to, hospitals, grocery stores and pharmacies.

No alcohol sales or consumption after 10 p.m. will be permitted at any facility that sells alcohol, including restaurants and grocery and liquor stores. Restaurants will still be able to offer food takeout and delivery after 10 p.m.

We can still walk our dogs after 10 p.m., just don’t run into a bunch of other friends walking their dogs at the same time.

It’s unclear what the punishment is for breaking curfew, beyond double-secret probation curfew, or if Peaceful Protestors™ will still be allowed to riot.