Colorado’s political hacks, flacks and Capitol aides form their own labor union

Mar 11, 2021

Colorado’s young political workers shouldn’t have to start on the bottom rung of their profession and work their way to the top by gaining experience and paying their dues like the generations of hacks and flacks who came before them.

No, this new American dream is not about earning one’s way, it’s about demanding it as soon as the unskilled newbie walks in the door.

Our new young workforce is just that special. Their parents and teachers told them so their whole lives.

It’s just not fair they are only paid $15 an hour to answer the phone, schedule meetings, and other entry-level clerical duties of the typical legislative aide or intern working at the state Capitol.

That’s according to the newly formed Political Workers Guild of Colorado, the first-of-it’s kind union for legislative aides, campaign workers and political organizers who say they must fight for their dignity in the workplace of politics.

Who are these oppressors denying dignity to legislative aides at the state Capitol?

The guild made its public debut today with 64 members, representing a majority of the aides who work for Democratic lawmakers. The group does not include any Republican staffers.

They won’t have bargaining powers so they can’t strike for benefits, like perhaps six months of paid family and medical leave during the 120 days of the annual legislative session.

But they can demand dignity from their evil Democrat overlords through tweets and stuff, so good for them.

It’s unclear what tangible demands we can expect from some of these political workers, although Capitol employees are already agitating for raises and full-time, year-round work to establish themselves as the defacto, entrenched government, instead of the elected officials they serve. 

Campaign workers could always demand continued employment after their candidates are defeated, lobby for strict forty-hour work weeks, and demand Election Day be declared a holiday and paid vacation day.

They’re also going to need disability insurance for repetitive strain injuries that often result from too many sign waving events. 

But seriously, political and campaign work is not for the feint of heart or those looking to get rich. 

It used to be a badge of honor to work absurdly long hours for next-to-nothing in service to one’s cause and candidate.

Looks like the only cause today’s young woke workers serve is that of being a highly paid socialist.

 

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