U.S. Sen. John Hickenlooper made his proof of life first appearance in Colorado this week since he was sworn into office in January.

We’ll give you three guesses what persuaded the freshman Democrat to go out among the unwashed masses.


That’s right. His staff promised him there would be beer.

While Hickenlooper was at the Atrevida Beer Company in Colorado Springs this week, his staff made the visit official by handing him some talking points to brag about the $28 billion Restaurant Revitalization Fund. 

The relief fund, Hickenlooper said, is a crucial step toward a return to normalcy – not only for restaurants, but also for the customers who support them.

When people are once again able to enjoy a meal out in town without worrying about getting sick, he explained, they will be more optimistic about the future.

That’s nice, but the fund has nothing at all to with preventing COVID or making reclusive politicians feel safe to finally appear in public to get a beer. 

It’s a hefty grant fund for restaurants to recover from financially crippling government-ordered shutdowns like the one ordered by Gov. Polis.

The money is supposed to be used for payroll, mortgage or rent, utilities, outdoor seating, cleaning costs, food and beverage inventory, operational expenses, and paid sick leave.

If that’s what makes Hickenlooper and others optimistic they won’t catch COVID, then so be it.

Hickenlooper went even further out on a limb when he said the fund, approved by Congress last month, was somehow linked to the All-Star game that baseball bosses announced this week would be played in Denver on July 13.

“We’re trying to make sure that (the fund) provides the necessary resources, so that when the All-Star Game comes this summer, we are ready to handle it,” he said.

But the fund hasn’t even launched.

Bureaucrats say they hope to start accepting applications for a pilot program sometime this month, but for the first three weeks they will prioritize applicants from restaurant owners who are women, veterans, or socially and economically disadvantaged individuals.

Thanks to Polis, nearly every restaurant owner in the state should now qualify as an economically disadvantaged individual.

But we digress. 

The point being, the fat lady will have sung and the all-stars game long over by the time restaurant owners can utilize any of that grant money.

Beer talk is over. Somebody help Hick back down the stairs into the basement.