Democrats in the state legislature say plastic pollution is a threat to our climate, water, health and wildlife so they’re saving us all by taxing stuff.

The new legislation will tax plastic bags for a year — but only the kind used for carrying consumer goods from the store to one’s home.

After that stores must switch to paper bags, which will also be taxed.

The taxes will be set by local governments at different amounts, but at a minimum must take at least ten cents per bag.

If you get one of those baggers who can’t seem to fit more than three items into one bag, you might end up with an additional $3 tax.

Taxes won’t apply to those on public assistance. They get to keep polluting the planet for free for the next year.

Restaurants can also keep using the killer bags.

The new law won’t apply to plastic bags used to hold garbage. 

Or plastic bags used for sandwiches and snacks.

Or plastic bags that contain consumer goods like pillows and sheets and millions of other products.

Only the plastic bags used for shopping that our woke neighbors can see us using are apparently the ones causing climate change.

Stores that decline to collect the tax, a portion of which they can keep, will be fined by the government. 


Problem solved.

Enjoy your planet.