“There’s poop on the sidewalk” is now the unofficial campaign slogan of the season, summing up everything that has gone wrong in Colorado since Jared Polis assumed the governorship.
Sidewalk poop, “where’s my car,” and other soulful expressions of frustration are just some of the hilarious takedowns of the failed Polis regime featured in the new ad.
The 30-second version of the ad, sans poop, aired during Monday night’s Broncos game.
Here’s the transcript of the entire 60 second spot that is, dare we say it — spot on.
Narrator: Here’s to you, Jared Polis … In just a few short years, you turned Colorado into a hot mess. Thanks to you. We are now number one in the country in auto theft.
Singer: Has anyone seen my car?
Narrator: Drug overdoses are now as common in our state as big horn sheep. If your goal was more violent crime and homelessness, job well done Jared Polis.
Singer: There’s poop on the sidewalk.
Narrator: You raised taxes by calling them fees, and then you say you’re going to cut taxes. Well played governor, we almost fell for it.
Singer: That’s a dirty trick.
Narrator: So here’s to you, Jared Polis, no one is better at creating problems and then saying, I’m just the person to fix that.
Singer: Here’s to you Jared Polis.
Too bad this ad sponsored by Restore the Rockies can’t compete financially with the $3.4 million Polis dropped for just one ad claiming credit for tax refunds Polis has historically opposed.
So share this ad with your friends on social media, because the voting public doesn’t stand a chance against millionaires running for office.
Polis’s opponent in the governor’s race is Republican Heidi Ganahl, whom we’re fairly certain opposes poop on the sidewalks.