You can have our steak when you pry it from our cold, dead hands.

You can have our steak when you pry it from our cold, dead hands.

Because Washington has nothing important to do, federal weeniecrats have decided to go after the cattle industry because apparently it’s their turn. Again.

But this time, the feds have truly outdone themselves in their never-ending quest to devise superfluous and just plain bizarre government guidelines.

Behold!

Proposed new federal dietary guidelines for meat won’t just count calories, but carbon emissions as well.

Straight from the overflowing, never-ending file of stuff we can’t make up, the National Journal reports this:

Green groups want the government to tell Americans that eating less meat benefits the earth. And environmentalists are lobbying to add what amounts to a climate-change warning to federal dietary guidelines.

The article defines the guidelines as “a metric that millions of Americans consult when deciding what to eat.”

Seriously? We about spewed our cheddar-flavored popcorn across the room and had to slurp down our Big Gulp to keep from choking.

We had no idea, and suspect that neither do most Americans, that the feds have guidelines of what we are supposed to eat.

The guidelines are also “the blueprint that determines the makeup of school lunches and a wide array of government meal programs,” although we skimmed the webpage and saw no mention of pizza, chicken tenders, fish sticks or fries that are available in most school lines.

And now they want to bastardize our thick-cut steaks, our juicy hamburgers, pot roasts and beef soup, our tacos, spaghetti and lasagna.

And the stakes are high. Americans are eating less red meat than they have in decades, and farmers and ranchers could feel the pinch if federal guidelines cast meat in a less-than-favorable light.Environmentalists, meanwhile, see the battle as a way to cut carbon emissions at a time when major legislation to address climate change is dead-on-arrival on the Hill.

The Agriculture and Health and Human Services departments is expected to move forward with the new guidelines in the coming days, and we hope to see our beloved cattlemen associations take up the fight and drive this ridiculous proposal right off the ranch and over a cliff.