Orange is the new tangerine.

That’s according to Esquire Magazine lecturing in its latest edition on men’s fashion that would-be terrorists held in Guantanamo Bay forced to wear gaudy orange canvas jumpsuits should instead be sent here where the latest prison trend blends a fruitier shade of the radiant color with the luxurious feel of cotton.

And it’s not just prison accouterments that the men’s monthly on fashion and the latest cocktails tackles in this article titled:

Why Don’t Republicans Trust American Prisons to Hold Terrorists?
Liberty and NIMBY for all

Apparently, the fashionistas have become experts in the latest trends in terrorism.

Coloradans have taken to “the fainting couch” and are essentially a bunch of whacks for daring to question whether shipping Gitmo detainees stateside would create a desirable target for terrorists to attack.

Only the magazine missed the whole point of that argument put forth by U.S. Sen. Cory Gardner and other opponents, and insisted that terrorists could not break out of a U.S. prison so there is nothing to fear.

Then they called U.S. Sen. Michael Bennet a coward for being vague on the issue and supporting Gitmo’s closure, while opposing the actual removal of prisoners.

Here at the Café, we would feel very safe if these guys were placed in that horrid bunker in Bennet’s state.

Perhaps Esquire can provide some interior designers to spruce up the Supermax cells to the detainees liking — a task more suited to their wheelhouse — and leave the news reporting of national security to the ink-stained wretches who don’t write for columns called “Café.”