Thanks to the comical overreach of government, that’s exactly what Severance nine year-old Dane Best recently discovered. So he set a path to change the laws of his Weld County hometown, culminating with an appearance before the Severance Town Board on Monday night.
Lest you think we’re joking, here are some of the inane questions posited to young Dane by members of the board, per the Greeley Tribune:
“Can we amend this ordinance to say that if you’re over 60, no one can throw a snowball at you?” asked Trustee Dennis “Zeke” Kane.
Trustee Michelle Duda posed this question: “If we do enact snowball fighting, have you talked to your fellow students about safety issues?”
These are actual questions from members of an American town’s board to a nine year-old kid. You’d think the young man was asking to conduct nuclear weapons testing on the campus of the University of Northern Colorado.
Undeterred, Dane remained solidly on message, defending the free expression of childhood while simultaneously highlighting the absurdity of the situation:
“The children of Severance want the opportunity to have a snowball fight like the rest of the world,” he said during his presentation. “The law was created many years ago. Today’s kids need a reason to play outside.”
Eventually, Dane won. Kids can now have snowball fights in Severance without any worry of being sent to Gitmo.
Bravo to Dane. Adults ruin most things, with government picking up the slack to ruin the rest. It’s nice to see a kid stand up to our self-created straightjacket and say, “you guys are idiots.”
We should only hope that Dane smacks us in the cheek with a snowball the next time we’re up his way. It’s the least we owe him.