We now interrupt your normal broadcast for breaking news:
HOLY SNICKEYS BATMAN, not only will Gov. John Hickenlooper have what he thought was a slightly annoying reelection campaign to run this year, but he is now officially in a dogfight to save his political life. With many recent polls showing no Republican candidate closer to Hick than double digits, the breaking Rasmussen poll that shows Hickenlooper and GOP gubernatorial candidate Bob Beauprez tied at 44%-44% is shocking and surprising. Sure, a tightening of the race should be expected following the Republicans finally settling on one candidate. Yet, less than one week after the primary Beauprez has already caught Hickenlooper. This bodes very ill for Hick.
This must have Hickenlooper’s handlers deeply disturbed, as Hickenlooper shows he becomes quite unhinged when things aren’t going well for him. It equally must be devastating to a man who only wants people to love him. Even after four years of trying his gosh darn best, less than half of Colorado likes Hick enough to want him around for another four years. At this rate, we can expect to see Hickenlooper standing on a street corner with a cardboard sign that says, “Will lie to you for affection.”
Seriously, how does Hick respond to this? His whole political career has been that of a one-trick pony, where he pretends to be above the political fray; more benevolent deity than politician. Now that his record of the past four years has shown this to be a complete fraud, he’s got no cards left to play. The man who deigns campaigns and politics to be beneath his grand stature, can’t suddenly enter the bare-knuckle, dogfight for your political life world without exposing himself for what he truly is: a complete sham.