Looks like the threat of having to challenge Guinness the Dog in a Democrat primary is giving Brandon Shaffer pause about jumping into the Congressional campaign waters. That, or he is just another BS'ing politician waiting out the fundraising quarter so as not to embarrass himself with an abysmally low first quarter haul. Either way, Cory Gardner will be laughing all the way to re-election.
Senate President Brandon Shaffer told the Longmont Times-Call, his hometown paper, that he hasn't decided on a Congressional run and won't make a decision until after he returns from a vacation in mid-June. Must be a coincidence that July 1 would mark the beginning of a new fundraising quarter, meaning he wouldn't have to announce any fundraising numbers until October 15. We can't blame him for wanting more time before releasing numbers because, after all, his Senate Democrat fundraiser meant to celebrate his "accomplishments" had more Senate Democrats show up than donors.
It appears Brandon Shaffer is back to his incoherent BS'ing ways. To help our readers comprehend this bullcrap, we've put together a second installment of our famous series "How to Speak Brandon Shaffer." Below you'll find Shaffer's statements to the Longmont Times Call, coupled with a helpful translation of what he really means. Whereas last time we took reality and showed you how it came out in "Brandon brogue," this time we take "Shaffer slang" and translate it into reality.
1. Shaffer said he’s gotten "a great deal of encouragement from people inside the district" for such a race.
Translation: I need to give my union operatives more time to build an astroturf effort to make it appear people talked me into running.
We can't tell if Shaffer is talking about voices in his head or just spewing the talking points handed to him by his Washington-masters, but we haven't noticed a "great deal" of support for him. Since we gave his "Draft Brandon" Facebook page free publicity when comparing its atrociously low amount of "likes" when compared to Guinness the Dog, it appears Shaffer has lost the race to add likes to Guinness. The "Draft Brandon" page has gained eight likes, seven of which were added this morning, while Guinness has racked up nine more "likes." And of Shaffer's FB page "endorsers," most don't even live in the 4th CD. Ouch. Politics is a dog-eat-dog kind of world and Guinness so far is top dog on Facebook.
Last time Shaffer talked about running for Congress, in 2007, he got smacked hard by the liberals in his district who didn't appreciate him and his DCCC overlords trying to push their grassroots favorite, Angie Paccione, out of the race. His hubris was apparent for all to see when he said "I would hope that Angie would put her personal ambitions aside so the Democrats will have the best shot at the race with the best candidate, and I think that is me." The backlash was swift and stinging and Shaffer backed out just as quick as he pushed his way in.
So Shaffer is no favorite of liberals, nor conservatives, which leaves us wondering where in his district this "great deal" of encouragement is coming from.
2. State Senate President Brandon Shaffer, D-Longmont, won't decide until this summer whether he`ll run for the 4th Congressional District seat up for election next year, he said Wednesday.
Translation: I can't admit publicly what is clearly going on behind the scenes on my behalf. That would be transparent and my Washington-masters counseled me that kind of thing won't help my campaign.
What he means to say is that the 3rd fundraising quarter begins this summer, so he needs to hold off until he'll be able to assemble enough DC donors to not make a fool of himself with his smaller-than-Gardner haul. We can't say we blame him too much on this front, as Cory Gardner last fundraising quarter brought in more bank than every other Congressperson in Colorado. When you go up against a rising star, you need to bring your A-Game. We're just not sure Shaffer has one.
But it's more than obvious that he is running as we've pointed out with a number of clear signs that any political operative could spot as a campaign a hundred miles away. Tyler Chafee, the union operative believed to be his likely Campaign Manager has been all over town, setting up press conferences for DC groups to attack Cory Gardner and likely the person who anonymously purchased ShafferForColorado.com on May 9th.
We know Shaffer is fuming that Nancy Pelosi's deputy, Congressman Steny Hoyer, let the cat out of the bag about Shaffer's run. Trying to cover up the obvious just serves to further embarrass himself. Not a great way to start a campaign.
3. As for the congressional redistricting proposals forwarded by Democrats during the state legislative session, Shaffer said: "What we were going for was competitiveness in all of the districts."
Translation: I let my rapacious ambition take over in redistricting and demanded a district I could win or there would be no compromise. If I announce now this inconvenient truth might make its way from the political section of the paper to the front page.
We believe Sal Pace might quibble with the idea that Shaffer was going for competitiveness in all of the districts. After all, Pace's political future was put on the chopping block by Shaffer's Senate Democrats with one fell swoop of the redistricting pen. In fact the only Congressional race that remains competitive in 2012 under Shaffer's maps is Shaffer's 4th CD.
Just look at this picture of the Democrats' "Compromise Colorado" map and tell us it isn't the very image of gerrymandering and we'll tell you Brandon Shaffer isn't running for Congress.
Shaffer embarrassed himself thoroughly in redistricting by letting his rapacious ambition take over, causing him to "Brandon-Mander" an entire Congressional district for himself. He's just afraid if he announces now that the charge of his self-interested dealings becomes all too clear to voters, as the press would surely mention it when covering his announcement. By waiting a few months he's hoping the press would forget that detail when writing up his announcement.
Don't worry, Brandon, we'll still be around to remind everyone. After all, the "Brandon-Mander" is catchy and it's beginning to be picked up by commentators across Colorado, like Mike Rosen, who dropped the phrase into his Denver Post column on redistricting.