Please.Shut.The.F$%^.Up.Secessionist.Morons. As America-loving conservatives, we have a simple message to those vacuous idiots who are petitioning for Colorado to secede from the United States of America because Obama won the election:

Get over it.

We’ll keep this short and sweet, as we don’t want to give the whack jobs any more of the attention they so clearly crave than is necessary to put them in their place.

When you lose an election you don’t take your ball and go home. You pick your broken a__ up off the ground and get back in the game.

Thankfully, it appears a good portion of the signatories aren’t even from Colorado, notes Westword’s Sam Levin :

A quick glance through the signatures on Colorado’s petition show that many of them are not residents of Colorado. In the most recent thirty at this writing, only three of them are listed as residents of Colorado — from Pueblo, Littleton and Denver.

As rock-ribbed conservative and Colorado Christian University President John Andrews told The Colorado Observer the petition effort is “infantile, absurd and politically suicidal….It sets a new world record for sore losers. Anyone who wants their state to secede from the union is someone whose brain has already seceded from their body.”

Do the conservative movement a favor folks, and tell the secessionist troglodytes to STFU.