Breaking news, apparently you can’t trust everything you read on the internet (well, except us, of course). We got The Denver Post’s Vincent Carroll in trouble when we retweeted a photo of Polis’ bane of his existence natural gas wells. Yet, when Jared Polis sent out this link trying to refute our retweet, his choice of angles seemed quite peculiar to us. Let’s just say Glamour Shots couldn’t be prouder of finding more flattering angles for Polis’ agenda. We’ve decided to put this matter to rest and drew straws to see which of us here at the Peak would go all incognito, set the record straight, and find out the truth about Polis’ and his well for ourselves.
If you can’t remember what started all this hullabaloo, here’s a link to Jared Polis’ melodramatic breakdown.
Polis said: “Basically there’s a huge drilling operation, like, right in our driveway.”
Polis reality: Here’s a panoramic view from Polis’ driveway. For those who really want to keep score at home, here is a photo of how far back Jared Polis’ vacation home is from the road. Oh, did you also notice those mountains behind Polis’ vacation home? That would be because the natural gas wells are to the east of the vacation home. Which begs the question: who the hell looks east when they live along the front range?
Polis said: “This is my detached garage and guest house.”
“This is our guest house.”
Polis reality: Polis complains a lot in the video about the proximity of the natural gas well to his “guest house.” There’s just seems to be one problem with that complaint: this looks like the most inhospitable “guest house” ever. There are no windows on the side facing the natural gas wells, and maybe a few small ones on the far end of one of the other two sides closest to the natural gas wells. If we were Polis’ guest, we’d probably not be concerned about the views of a natural gas well as much as the fact Jared was keeping us in a windowless dungeon.
Polis said: “It’s a reminder of what’s happened to the neighborhood.”
Polis said: “I thought this would be a family place for decades or generations. That was what my hope was, and, you know, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. It’s now in the middle of an industrial zone.”
“There’s a crane that comes every year, I think the fracking noises have scared her off.”
“Look at that thing, this is like basically we’re living in an oil zone now.”
“This part of our Colorado dream is over.”
“It’s too late for us.”
“This place will never be the same.”
You’re right Polis. The sound of those crickets chirping was deafening. Your crane has to be suffering PTSD.
We know your property is a hellmouth right now, but imagine the bullet you dodged: what if your neighbors had decided to put up something even larger and more obtrusive, like a farm silo?!