We’re sure it will take some time for Roxane White, Gov. John Hickenlooper’s chief of staff, to remove her hand after it’s been lodged there all these years (we were always amazed the way she could make it sound like Hick was speaking without moving her lips), but as soon as she does, she’ll be stepping down. Which leaves one question on the mind of Coloradans everywhere: who will run the state now?
But, seriously, if Coloradans everywhere thought Hickenlooper couldn’t make up his mind before, what will he do without his… brain? Heart? Blackmailer? (Should we be concerned about how much influence White has over Hick? Hick, blink twice if you’re being held hostage). As KDVR’s Eli Stokols reports, in the Hickenlooper administration, the buck often stopped at White:
A year ago, White made her feelings known as Hickenlooper considered the looming execution of Chuck E. Cheese killer Nathan Dunlap. Her strong personal opposition to the death penalty was a major factor in the governor’s decision to grant Dunlap an indefinite reprieve.
Shall we connect some dots, and put this tweet from Mike Littwin suggestively right here?
Hick’s “frank” talk with sheriffs puts longstanding rumor back in play: top Hick official threatened to quit if he didn’t sign gun bills 1/1
— Michael Littwin (@mike_littwin) June 20, 2014
Even if she is Hick’s most trusted advisor, should her personal whims trump the will of a majority of Coloradans? Should her temper tantrums, where she stomps around, clutches her fists, and threatens to hold her breath unless she gets her way hold the rest of Colorado hostage? Surely she must be using a cat o’ nine tails on Hickenlooper (or some similarly named means of manipulation) that allows her own agenda to come before that of millions of Coloradans.
Our hats are off to her though; she has clearly demonstrated she is a shrewd manipulator, and most certainly knows the time is right to sell high. We’d worry about who would be the next person to wear the pants in Hick’s administration, but with them being the sweatpants of the unemployed, they won’t carry nearly as much power as Roxane has been exercising these past few years.