Like a one-hit wonder from the 60s, Sen. Mark Udall and his campaign keep standing up in front of the voters of Colorado saying, “you may remember this little ditty.” But, the lights in the mostly-empty, truck-stop bar somewhere halfway between Kearney and Hell have come on, and the song Udall and the Mountaineers are trying to play to recapture their former glory only speaks to their pathetic desperation to hang on for one more night. Welcome to the 2014 Udall campaign.
The headline from the Washington D.C. insider rag The Hill pretty much sums up the unimaginative Udall campaign:
Democrats’ ‘war on women’ falling flat in Colorado Senate race
This is followed by a few paragraphs where The Hill describes how not only has Udall beat the dead horse, but then Udall got a team of vets to bring the horse back alive, just so Udall could beat it dead again:
Colorado Democrats are fretting that Sen. Mark Udall’s (D-Colo.) “war on women” battle cry against Rep. Cory Gardner (R-Colo.) is starting to sound like a broken record.
After a series of polls this past month have shown the race statistically tied or even with Gardner up, some Democrats are urging Udall to find a new refrain against his opponent, lest Republicans claim the seat in November.
“Gardner gave him a lot to work with on that subject, but a lot people think he may have overdone it,” said one well-connected Democratic operative in the state. [the Peak’s emphasis]
That’s right Udall, it’s time to pivot to your outstanding support of President Obama, um, to your vote on Obamacare about saying you weren’t for government-run healthcare in 2010, (we got it this time) to your vote for the economic stimulus which was supposed to launch the growth of our economy and give everyone free ice cream. Well, looks like we got nothing for Udall to pivot to. How many strategy planning sessions has the Udall campaign had that started just that way, stretched way into the late night/early morning, and always ended with them banging their collective heads against the wall before finally saying, “F@%& it! Let’s just talk to women like they care about nothing more than just a single issue. Then, we’ll be like ‘this is the 2000’s why are we still talking about this?’ Hopefully no one notices we’re talking about it just because we keep bringing it up!”
In other signs that Udall’s campaign has run out of ideas, American Bridge, the former employer of Kansas City Chief-lover, Udall spox, Chris P Harris, has started to troll the #cosen hashtag. Is the #copolitics equivalent of a bully calling their dad on the phone crying about how the other kids made fun of him, then demanding their dad come down and make them stop? “(lip quivering) But, but, but I was going to come to Colorado and show all these know-nothing hicks how a true campaign is ran…”
Finally, it’s gotten so bad for Udall (and Colorado Democrats in general) that they are having to import volunteers from other states, as normal Coloradans ain’t giving them no love. As Rep. Mike Coffman’s campaign manager, Tyler Sandberg, tweeted this Democratic plea to host out-of-state volunteers:
— Tyler Sandberg (@wtylersandberg) September 26, 2014
One would think at some point Democrats would learn how kindly Coloradans take to out-of-staters sticking their noises in our business.