Andrew Romanoff MayorColorado’s Congressional District 6 snakes around the edge of Denver, and, in doing so, passes through or has parts of six different cities.  Despite having so many different cities, and with each of those cities having a mayor, Rep. Mike Coffman made a clean sweep of them, with each of the six mayors endorsing him.  Yep, Aurora Mayor Steve Hogan, Thornton Mayor Heidi Williams, Brighton Mayor Dick McLean, Centennial Mayor Cathy Noon, Greenwood Village Mayor Ron Rakowsky, and Littleton Mayor Phil Cernanec all agree that Coffman does a better job representing them and their constituents in Washington D.C. than anything Andrew Romanoff (D- End of the Rainbow) could ever achieve.

Embarrassingly enough, Andrew Romanoff couldn’t exactly remember where he was now living and did the Colorado politics version of the classic P.D. Eastman children’s book, “Are you my Mother?”  Luckily enough we got a copy and have the opportunity to offer an exclusive sneak-peek.  Without further ado:

Are you my Mayor?

By Dr. Andrew Seuss Romanoff

“Where is my Mayor?” Andrew “baby bird” Romanoff said.  He looked for her.  He looked up.  He did not see her.  He looked down.  He did not see her.

“I will go and look for her,” he said.  So, away he went.  Down, out of the tree Denver he went.  Down, down, down.  It was a long way down.  The baby bird Andrew Romanoff could not fly drive.  He could not fly drive, but he could walk.  “Now, I will go and find my Mayor,” he said.  He did not know what his Mayor looked like.  He went right by her/him.  He did not see her/him.

He came to a kitten Mayor Michael Hancock.  “Are you my Mayor?” he said to the kitten Mayor Hancock.  Hancock just looked and looked.  It did not say a thing.  Mayor Hancock was not his Mayor, so he went on.

Then he came to a hen Mayor Steve Bach.  “Are you my Mayor?” he said to the hen Mayor Bach.  “No,” said the hen Mayor Bach.  Mayor Hancock was not his Mayor.  Mayor Bach was not his Mayor.

So, Andrew Romanoff went on.  “I have to find my Mayor,” he said, “but where, where is she?  Where could she be?”

Then he came to a dog Pueblo Mayor Gabriel Ortega.  “Are you my Mayor?” he said to the dog Mayor Ortega.  “I am not your Mayor.  I am a dog the Mayor of Pueblo,” said Mayor Oretga.

Mayor Hancock was not his Mayor.  Mayor Bach was not his Mayor.  Mayor Oretga was not his Mayor.  So, Andrew Romanoff went on…

While not knowing who your mayor is will go a long way in preventing you from getting their endorsements, it will allow future generations of Colorado kids to improve their reading through a local twist.