Did you hear? All of society’s ills are due to fracking. Or, at least, that’s what one fractivist who testified last week at the Rifle Oil and Gas Task Force Meeting would like you to believe. Here’s his testimony, courtesy of Revealing Politics:
First, it’s not even clear that the societal ills that he claims are accurate – apparently, he’s found a way to prove voter fraud where others have failed. We’d like to see some backup data to show that crime rates in Garfield County are increasing – and increasing faster than population growth. But, in the spirit of scapegoating fracking for everything, might we suggest also blaming fracking for the following issues:
- Homelessness
- Ebola
- Justin Bieber
- Teenage pregnancy
- Lack of efficacy of this year’s flu shot
- The rise of ADHD
- Materialism around Christmas
- Ferguson
- Kim Kardashian cropping her daughter out of a selfie
- Mary Landrieu’s loss
Wait, actually, that last one might be legit. Have we forgotten anything, PeakNation™? If so, please feel free to add in the comments below.
OK I'm going to speak up in favor of #7 "Materialism around Christmas"….
After 6 years of doing without a Christmas or traditional Christmas gifts by being handicapped with the pretender in chiefs jobless economy, how many families that suddenly found themselves with good paying jobs would scrimp on their children?
Oh, you meant negative things? OK. Let's see… More traffic means more tickets? But that means more local revenue at the expense of the evil oil companies….
OK… All those roughnecks ( am I allowed to call them that?) away from their families eating and drinking in bars and restaurants…
Except that benefits local businesses/waitresses/bartenders at the expense of per diem checks from oil companies.
Ok. I give up.