Global Divestment Day was such a colossal flop in Colorado and across the nation that even climate change champions are trying to separate themselves from the latest campus cause célèbre.

The stated goal is for students to force colleges and universities to sell off fossil-fuel stocks, because global warming, by dousing themselves with liberal amounts of patchouli oil and waving signs for a couple of minutes.

Robert L. Bradley Jr, CEO of the Institute for Energy Research, writes of the follies in The Hill:

The first-ever Global Divestment Day did not live up to its billing. Although its supporters promised large sit-ins and demonstrations, participation in the United States was scant. At the University of Colorado Boulder, about three dozen students out of 30,000 showed up for a ten-minute rally. At St. Louis Divestment Day, only 10 people marched.


Looks about right.


Meanwhile, Valerie Richardson writes in the Washington Times that climate change activists have dismissed the whole divestment push as a waste of time.

Paul Hamill, director of strategy and communications for the center-left American Security Project in Washington, D.C., flat-out rejected all of the hard work and effort it took those Boulder students to stand outside for ten minutes.

“But divesting is not the way to do it. It’s almost like a glib PR stunt. It feels nice to go out and campaign, and it feels nice to try and divest from these companies, but it’s not serious,” he said.

We’re going to paste that quote into a loop, and just run it continuously across our computer screen. And laugh.

Then, it gets better:

Further, some experts say selling off fossil fuel stocks would actually make things worse by imperiling the financial status of universities and colleges, thus jeopardizing their ability to conduct research on alternative fuels and technologies.

Note to the kiddies: This also means your tuition would likely increase and you would have to beg mommy and daddy for more money, or get one of those student loans you’re always bitching about having to repay.

“Divestment will not cause any meaningful financial impact to fossil fuel companies, but could hurt the universities and colleges dependent on fossil fuel share dividends,” said a study on the efficacy of divestment released Feb. 12 by ASP, whose board chairman emeritus is former Sen. Gary Hart, Colorado Democrat.

Do you hear that, Boulder? Even Gary Hart’s people say your ten minutes of time and effort were wasted.

Now pull up your pants and go march for something worthwhile, like reality.