Jared PolisU.S. Rep. Jared Polis staged a political stunt to placate greenies who are still angry with him for abandoning their anti-fracking movement last year – a name that wilderness bill contest!

The wilderness area to be named a wilderness area already has several names. It is in the White River National Forest stretching between Summit and Eagle Counties, and includes Spraddle Creek, Porcupine Gulch, the Tenmile Range, Hoosier Ridge, and the Williams Fork mountains.

Porcupine Gulch is a fine name indeed, but none of those seem to be in line with the congressionally mandated truth-in-labeling requirement for those wildly inaccurately named bills that flow out of Washington.

So, we came up with a few of our own:

These Lands Aren’t Your Lands Anymore Wilderness Dictate

The Envirowhacktivists Forgive Polis Wilderness Act of (Insert election year date here)

Very Ordinary Topography Equals Delightful Election Mandate (VOTEDEM) Act

The Generic No Trespassing Here Wilderness Bill

Burn Baby Burn Wilderness and Fire Activation Bill

The Bite Me Eagle County GOP Act

My Name is Jared Polis And I Approve This Ad Act

Hinder the Industry that Provides Jobs Bill

No Oil and Gas Business Left Alone Bill

I’ve Made Peace So Please Give Me a Leadership Role Act

I Will Punish All Fracking for Daring to Come Near My Vacation Home Act

Sadly, none of these were chosen. Polis has settled on the “Continental Divide Wilderness and Recreation Act.” We’re guessing Polis liked using “recreation,” because once that wilderness designation hits, some will be regulated, or not allowed at all.

The winning name came from Boulder resident Bob Waters. Polis says he is “thrilled” to have the name come from a local “someone who knows the space well,” which borders the Continental Divide.