Meet Dr. Haney

Meet Dr. Haney

Republicans across the state are internally celebrating the recent interest that Democrat Dr. Perry Haney, Massage Therapist Millionaire, has in running in the Sixth Congressional District. Not only does this mean that Sen. Morgan Carroll could face a nasty primary in order to walk into the Coffman Campaign Buzzsaw, but we could have months of talking about a Democrat, that’s not Joe Biden, who has been accused of excessive use of massage.

It is delicious.

In 2012, Haney’s first race was chock full of amateur mistakes, chief among them his inability to understand the boundaries of the district he hoped to represent. Originally, Haney planned to run in CD3, so he had a P.O. Box in Grand Junction. After switching to CD6, he filed from Lone Tree, which was part of CD4, not CD6. Then, his FEC complaint was riddled with errors when he filed, neglecting to note the occupation and employer of nearly all $200+ donors as the law requires.

That’s probably part of the reason the Colorado GOP filed a campaign finance complaint against the beleaguered candidate, after which he dropped out of the race. And, all this came from the Democrats’ top choice for CD6. Of course, that top billing might have been because of Dr. Massage’s ability to self-fund an expensive race. (Hey, massages aren’t cheap.) Eventually, Joe Miklosi succumbed to Coffman in the Sixth.

Here’s more of what we said about Haney in 2012.  In short, he was a hot mess.  As Democrats laughably try to paint Carroll as a moderate populist (pay no attention to those millionaire trial lawyers bankrolling Carroll’s quixotic run), Haney will be waiting in the wings massaging his cash. September is when Haney will officially decide.  We cannot wait.