Nearly every activist group imaginable co-opted Michael Hancock’s “We are Denver” mantra to welcome the new/old mayor and council members at today’s swearing in ceremony.

The result was that the message of the protestors, which included Food and Water Watch, was garbled at best, schizophrenic at worst.

As best we could gather, “We are Denver” now signifies the coming together of community forces to block the freedom fracking of illegal immigrants in expensive housing filled with polluted air for peace and diversity.

Leading the rally of rhythmically challenged, tone-deaf attendees was Flobots front man Jamie Laurie, also known as “Jonny 5,” or as we call him, the white rapper dude.  

Between rounds of unintelligible activist chants, the white rapper dude led the small crowd to ponder the universe. Or something.

“Everybody look up at the sky, and don’t make any noise for ten seconds,” Jonny 5 instructed.

We were really hoping to see Spiderman, Mighty Mouse, or SuperMessageMan fly down and save the day from the weakest protest/rally/ standing around event we’ve witnessed in a long time.

But alas, it was just a clear blue sky on a beautiful summer day … until the mangled chanting resumed.