‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the blog,
Every creature was drinking flat beer and eggnog.
Newspapers were flung by the computer with flair,
In hopes that some news soon would be there.
Fractivists petitioned for gas to be dead,
While visions of unicorns danced in their heads.
And dogs in their kerchiefs and our Bronco’s cap,
Shredded the papers and gave not a crap.
When out on the lawn there arose a snow splatter,
We sprang from my computer to see if we had money to go skiing in Vail but we digress.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But an empty refrigerator, we had run out of beer.
There’s not much to snark about, it’s the holidays we fear,
So we’ll wrap this up tidy and try to be clear.
The man in the courtroom is clearly insane,
We’re tired of Planned Parenthood and who is to blame.
School unions are crooked it’s proven to be,
They bought an election and got off scott free.
The EPA’s blundered and denies to the end,
They polluted a river and lost all their friends.
The sage grouse was saved, but not prairie dogs,
They were eaten by ferrets to the glory of all.
The politicians annoyed us, but that’s nothing new,
They raised taxes, spent money like a bunch of bloodsuckers and you know what that rhymes with …
So on Hickenlooper and Bennet, on Polis and DeGette,
We’ll snark at you next year, without a regret.