But in Boulder County, gunfire erupted Thursday because someone was feeding squirrels nutshells with children in the vicinity who might be allergic to nuts.
Local residents there in the aptly named Gunbarrel also argued that squirrels carry diseases, so they should not be fed. Presumably, because it only encourages the little rodents to keep on living and eating nutshells.
Here’s how it went down. The accused animal lover and shooter was placing fliers in neighborhood mailboxes to explain why he loved the critters and only wanted to feed them, when he’s confronted by a neighbor, and they get into an argument calling each other white trash.
So the animal lover, he pulls out his gun and shoots the neighbor in the a$$.
The animal lover/accused shooter, called police and turned himself in, so it looks like the critter-hating neighbors won, cause there’s no one to feed the squirrels while he’s in jail on attempted murder charges.
Looks like Boulder is keeping itself safe from peanut allergies, one nutcase at a time.