Why would you hippies ever leave this?

A San Francisco newspaper, SF Gate, published a story today that “a coalition of tech companies and governmental agencies” launched a $500,000 ad campaign aimed at persuading San Francisco tech firms to move to Colorado.

First, let us just say: Please don’t. Just stay in San Francisco.

Culturally, we really aren’t that similar to nannystate San Fran. Coloradans still appreciate their Western independence and that includes guns.

But let’s talk about how screwed up spending $500,000 on an ad campaign to lure more people here when the state already cannot provide for those who already live here. We don’t have enough houses. Thanks Democrats – maybe don’t block condo litigation reform, right? Nowhere to live, you’re driving up prices for all the poor people in Colorado. Just stay home.

Then, there’s the transportation issue. We don’t have enough roads and our public transportation doesn’t go anywhere that we want to go. Remember that, San Franciscans – you will have to drive everywhere. You might even have to drive SUVs because, contrary to your deeply held beliefs, we still have winter here. The horror. You should just stay home.

Oh, and by the way, gentrification is frowned upon here in Denver. Remember the Ink! Coffee backlash? Yeah. People in San Fran might not have been as organized when developers were gentrifying your city. But, don’t worry, we are super organized here. It would be stressful for you. Just stay home.

Have we convinced you to stay home yet?

And, hey, where did these people get that $500,000 from anyway? Democrats keep telling us the state is broke and we need new taxes. Guess they were wrong.