Not a bathtub.

Bathe? Seriously?

As Jared Polis begins the relocation process from Washington, D.C. to Colorado, we are here to help him learn about the state he will soon be governing, beginning with this lesson.


Dude, we don’t know how big your bathtub is at home, and for all we know, you could have an olympic-sized pool in the master bathroom.

But please, don’t show up at the Glenwood Springs pool with a bar of soap to take a bath. That’s just gross.

Hundreds of people swim and soak here daily, they don’t want to bathe with anyone’s toddlers.

These hot springs aren’t holes in the ground in the middle of nowhere for camping hippies to take their annual bath. They are, as the article you shared implies, tourism destinations.

Some have slides, others are for swimming laps, but mostly, folks like to soak in the hot springs piped into the concrete pools to relax.

We would encourage you to actually visit one once you become governor to better acquaint yourself with the local customs.

And for the love of God, leave the loofah sponge at home.