And so it begins: The slow death march back into obscurity as two dozen Democrats running for president are weeded out from the next debate, and Colorado’s own two candidates are at the head of the exit line.
Democrats have only four weeks to qualify for the September event by rising above 2% in four polls, while simultaneously running an obstacle course in what has become the worst TV game show, ever.
The grab-and-run wallet challenge requires each candidate to snatch donations from a total of 130,000 individuals.
The laugh track kicks in when candidates try to capture 400 unique donors from that total to represent 20 states, like some sort of Miss America contest, in reverse.
On the polling front, U.S. Sen. Michael Bennet is dead last with zero qualifying polls, and a 0.0% polling average from Real Clear Politics.
John Hickenlooper is second to last, with a polling average of 0.2%, and only one qualifying poll under his belt.
Bennet is begging for dollars in emails and Facebook ads. We imagine Huck is busking with his Banjo on some forlorn Iowa street corner.
CNN reports only eight candidates have met the qualifications so far:
Former Vice President Joe Biden
New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker
Mayor Pete Buttigieg
California Sen. Kamala Harris
Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar
Former Rep. Beto O’Rourke
Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders
Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren
We’re doubtful Hick and Bennet will survive to the next round. But by all means, go for it, guys. We’ll leave the light on for you.