The Denver Post reports something remarkably accurate in their latest puff piece on Colorado U.S. Sen. Michael Bennet’s vainglorious run for the White House.

Because Bennet has consistently placed at the rear of the pack in polls, and no one seems at all interested in actually voting for him, his campaign has no where to go but up.

This is the theory that sprung forth in the paper’s article about the Iowa Caucus, which as of this writing has still not been called because no one in the entire state can figure out how to download the ballot results from the app they got for that.

Bennet’s campaign had a small team on the ground in Iowa, and his supporters worked precincts Monday. As of 10 p.m., with the release of caucus results still stalled in the early stages amid technical problems, he’d received support from just eight voters spread across 34 precincts.

So if Bennet quits the race after capturing 0.5% of the vote in New Hampshire, which we presume is more than 8 votes, will he have left on a high note with a participation trophy in hand?