The federal government finally came to their senses on May 13, 2021, and realized the best way to motivate Americans to get vaccinated against COVID-19 was to stop insisting they keep wearing masks indoors and out.

Then lo and behold, the CDC said, let them go maskless!

And so we can. 

If we’ve been vaccinated. 

And if Daddy Polis says we can.

Here’s the highlights from the CDC:

Relaxed mask guidance does not apply to health care settings — like hospitals or doctor’s offices — or in homeless shelters or jails. And masks will still be required on means of public transportation like planes, trains and buses.


The CDC said people should follow any state or local rules on masks and adhere to requirements at workplaces and local businesses, although the updated guidance will likely prod entities to rethink strict rules.

Americans living in Republican states are already lighting bonfires and watching their masks go up in flames.

No word yet from Polis as to whether he’ll cancel out masks in one fell swoop, or tell us to add yet a third layer of masking when hiking fourteeners.