There’s no reason to be terribly alarmed about the arrival of the Omicron variant in Colorado, a totally chill Gov. Polis informed on ABC’s “This Week” program, the network’s premier Sunday political talk show.

Not freaking out about COVID is a whole new persona for Polis, who has spent nearly half his time in office shutting down businesses and the economy while earning the nickname Grim Reaper as he issued death threats to anyone disobeying his orders to abandon jobs, friends, and loved ones.

Polis was all about panic in 2020 and almost all of 2021, so what prompted this about face?


Political science has taught us Polis is up for reelection.

The previous version of Polis made it insanely complicated for the Colorado economy to operate. 

And now that Polis is up for reelection next year, political science says he better get a grip on reality and put Colorado on a normalized footing if he wants to be reelected.

So now Polis is telling us not to panic in large friendly letters on social media memes, which is a ripoff of Douglas Adams and the “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” that arguably was the best advice ever given to humanity.


Here is Polis 2.0 now assuring us all is well.

“We simply don’t have answers,” Polis finally acknowledges.

The truth hurts.