Naropa University, the private Buddhist-inspired liberal arts college in Boulder, has a bad case of first-world problems – how to dispose of prairie dogs that are destroying what we can only surmise is an immaculately kept lawn?

One would presume the nature-lovers would simply relocate the critters, but one would be wrong.

Faced with no other options, it seems, the university has applied for a lethal control permit from the city, and environmental outrage has ensued.

The folks that brought us the Great Castle Rock Prairie Dog Revolt are now eating their own, so to speak, and have turned on the peace-lovers with an activist vengeance.

In other words, they’ve circulated a petition.

“It is a Buddhist university and the fact that a Buddhist university would even apply for a lethal application for prairie dogs is totally against any Buddhist concepts,” said Deanna Meyer, Colorado director for WildLands Defense. “You don’t do that. You don’t kill animals. So that inspired a lot of people like, ‘Are you kidding me? A Buddhist university is going to kill the native populations there? Why?”

We suggest the two sides agree to a cage fight, Nature Lover vs. Animal Lover, a duel to the death to determine whether the rodents should live or die.

We’d be first in line to purchase front-row tickets.