Going to work barefoot for day one of the “Living Fossil Fuel Free Challenge” was a cinch for us – we haven’t left the basement for the past 24 hours.

We shall endeavor to attack the day two challenge with equal vigor, along with the cheating ingenuity of a NASCAR driver, because this is a tough one: Stay home and text and video chat friends.

Your smartphone may be modern, but it’s like a handheld dinosaur with so many fossil fuel parts inside it. The screen, board, microchip, and cover are just a few. Plus, it’s powered by electricity generated from natural gas or coal. Try smoke signals instead.

We have the fire department on our rotary phone speed dial, and are prepared to compete with the already existing plumes of smoke that rise organically from college campuses and certain shopping establishments.

We have obtained the needed permits from the EPA and Interior Department, and are ready to kill some trees in the name of mass communication.

Thankfully, we downloaded the smoke signal-to-text app so we can continue to post the rest of the day’s news items, also known as cheating.